What is marriage? That’s easy! It’s when two people say their vows and exchange rings. No, that is not marriage, that is a marriage ceremony. Two people can be married but not have a marriage. If marriage is not the vows said, nor the rings exchanged, what then is a marriage?
A marriage is when two people choose to work together to become one. Marriage is not easy (and spoiler alert, it’s not supposed to be!) Each person comes from different families, have different experiences, different likes and dislikes and their own needs and desires. You each have your own strengths and weaknesses and if you look a little more closely at it, you will find that your spouse’s strengths and weaknesses are probably mostly opposite from yours.
Marriage is learning to be with another person who is so vastly different from you. So different that you are opposite, that is why it is so hard. It’s learning to go from “Me” to “Us.” In marriage we have to learn to reach outside of ourselves and learn that there is another person who is very important as well. We have to learn the other’s language, to understand someone else’s needs and desires.
I am not always going to get what I want. To make our marriage successful, my husband and I have to learn how to balance out each of our needs and desires so we both feel heard, loved, and cared for. We all have our challenges, and a loving spouse will look past the challenges and focus only on the positive (after all, we want them to look past our challenges!)
Marriage is usually the most difficult relationship to develop, but that means that it also has the potential for the greatest rewards. When we can use our strengths to help lift up our other half, our best friend, and they help lift us up, the results are greater than 1+1, and the love will know no bounds.
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