The Marriage Melody

Many people think that when they get married, the dates can stop. You don’t need them anymore, right? Not true. 

Let’s look at what a date does for a couple. A date is when two people spend time together to talk, to get to know each other. It’s a time to bond in a special way with someone else. Dating allows you to become closer to each other. 

When you and your spouse get married you still have Life, you have things that you each do during the day (i.e. work, looking after children, etc.) Relationships are like a skill such as math or music. If you don’t use it, you lose it. If you are not becoming closer to your spouse, you are growing further away.  

However, the opposite is also true – if you use it there is so much that you gain. And how do you keep coming closer to your soul mate? Dates! Go out to eat, go for a drive, go out for a walk around the block, even a walk to the mailbox. You can even take a trip to the hardware store and turn that into a date! (I know, some people will disagree with this last one, you decide. When you need to go, ask your spouse for a date to the hardware store. Watch the look on their face as they think you are crazy, and then report back afterwards. 😊  ) 

Be creative. Just follow these rules: 

• No children! Hire a babysitter if you need to (and yes, think about it this way: the few dollars you spend on the babysitter is so much less than what you will spend on a divorce lawyer…) 

• No other people (in laws, family, friends…) 

• No phones. If you need a phone in case the babysitter calls, leave it in your pocket or purse. No NOT take it out. You are there to spend time with your spouse – not your phone. (You did not marry your phone after all!) 

• No talking about difficult issues at this time. (Those are saved for other moments.) This is a time to touch base with just the two of you – did either of you find a new hobby or learned an interesting tidbit of information you would like to share? 

And lastly, go out at least once a week. 

Enjoy! 
💖 Rivkah